My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were trust falling into bushes
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
