I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
