erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
