I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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