actually, I'm a sock model
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
