are you so shy because you have an std?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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