I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize