she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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