Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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