I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
