im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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