They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
