How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
