My room smells like vodka and shame
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
