Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
