i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
