You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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