I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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