you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
