that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
