I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
