I am puke
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
