i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
