You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
