in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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My liver just had a heart attack.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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