When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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