I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
