i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
