By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
