So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
