I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
