i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
