I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
