so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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