I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
