oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
