dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
