Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
