I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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