he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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