Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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