apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
