is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize