Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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