We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
