I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
