i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
