My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize