btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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