Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
