you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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