Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
