Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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