So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
