my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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