im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize