hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
