We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
