woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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