dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
