No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
