I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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