yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
