i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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