gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
