Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
