I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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