I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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