singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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